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[logicals]

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[logicals]

I didn't lie. I omitted the truth.

1/3

[combatdoc]

"We will never let you down."

2/3

[combatdoc]

"I will always be there."

3/3

[combatdoc]

"We would never do that to John Watson."

Guess it was just a pretty speech.

[logicals]

[ Three texts that hit him squarely in the heart; he swallows and looks away. He's not even sure how to reply.

In the end, he's right. They were just pretty speeches. Words dressed up for the occasion, because he let John Watson down and he's the reason everyone is dead.

It's the elephant in the room that keeps getting bigger the more they refuse to address it. ]

I didn't do it to you. This wasn't about you. I was going to die either way.

[combatdoc]

You don't know that. Anything could have happened. Mycroft could have discovered a way to get you back to England. Mary and I could have decided to lend a gun or three to the cause. You could have beat the odds and come back to us anyway.

But we'll never know because you fucking gave up.

[logicals]

Six months, my brother estimates. He’s never wrong.
And then what?

Six months until it became fatal. You didn't even know it was a suicide mission. How would you have helped? Your precious Queen and country intended to have me shipped off to my death, and you expect me to... what? Take it lying down? I took control of my own death; I didn't let them beat me.

Don't make this about you. It's about me, and the death that I chose for myself. Is it so wrong to want to die surrounded by friends and family? You can call it whatever you like, but I took matters into my own hands and I made a choice.

[combatdoc]

You love proving Mycroft wrong. Don't you give me that shit. I didn't know it was a suicide mission because you didn't tell me! You never TELL ME ANYTHING, you didn't even have the guts to properly say goodbye when you knew, you fucking KNEW you wouldn't be coming back.

Christ, do you really think I'd have let you go off like that if I thought there wasn't a chance for you to come back? I expected you to live. I expected you to keep your goddamn promises, at least try! You didn't even try.

I suppose I should be grateful to whoever put a bullet in my chest so I wouldn't have to experience your excellent decision-making first hand.

[logicals]

If this is how you choose to react, it's a wonder I decide to tell you anything at all.

[combatdoc]

Ah, I see. So it's my fault again.

[logicals]

I couldn't tell you at the time. You'd have thrown your life away with Mary. You deserved better.

Not that it matters. My death became the catalyst for everyone else's death.

[combatdoc]

Pretty sure that would've been our choice to make, not yours.

Oh, now who's making things all about him. You don't know why any of us were killed. It might not have had anything to do with you.

[logicals]

Pretty sure your choice was made when Mary fell pregnant.

Don't be dense. It wasn't coincidence.

[combatdoc]

It's a baby, not an ultimatum.

And I'm not saying it was coincidence, I'm saying that you weren't the only person to have ever pissed off anyone murderous. And besides which, it doesn't make sense to kill us off when you were already dead. You can't taunt a dead man.

[logicals]

Are you telling me that you wouldn't have thrown your life away trying to protect mine? My life was already over. Why ruin yours too?

No, but I am the connection between you, Lestrade and Ms Adler.

For what it's worth, I regret not telling you. It became more difficult the longer I left it.

[combatdoc]

So you thought, what? I'd never find out that you died on the plane? Mary and I would waltz off into the sunset and never suspect a thing?

You didn't think losing you to suicide a second time would be a tad much to handle?

[logicals]

I'd hoped you wouldn't find out at all.

[combatdoc]

Because Mycroft would've kept it a secret, hm? Not held a funeral? Not found a way to have me quietly executed for being the death of his little brother?

Yeah, somehow I doubt it.

[logicals]

I'd just come out of solitary confinement; my mind wasn't exactly working at its best. Forgive me for not thinking everything through with salient efficiency.

[combatdoc]

I'm saving this text for posterity. The one time Sherlock Holmes admitted to not thinking.

[logicals]

Funny.

[combatdoc]

I don't even know what to do with this now. What happens the next time you get the urge to be self-destructive? Am I going to come in one day and find you shooting up or slitting your own throat?

And don't...don't even bother telling me 'of course not' because I don't believe you. How can I believe you? You'll just lie to me like you always do. You lied about this, and about being dead for two years, and you lied about the bloody Woman, and for all I know you're not even Sherlock Holmes. You could be a secret twin or something.

[logicals]

Can't get much deader than dead, John.

[combatdoc]

You really think the land of eternal torment is a good place to test that theory?

[logicals]

Wouldn't know. I've been forbidden to check.